October's leaves

October comes and sits on my porch
his deafening tone booming behind my door,
Blood of my heart dripping in his snow
The pain,now blind, is blind no more.
A skeleton, a skeleton Zues hath struck dead
his immortal stone crushing with dread
yet tall, unsteady cannot fall,
till u find me hiding behind the bedroom wall,

When his black lifeless hands shake my
dying trunk, October's leaves will fall
to the end of the bottomless bunk.
Once, like a diamond shrub, my leaves grow
until life catches up, his blackening crow.

Cliffs and Tunnels

I realised that i can be stupid.
I'm stupid now, I was stupid then.
I'd been hurt, lost parts of my heart,
I swore I wouldn't love again.

But look at me now,
I brought back the pain,
I wish i could find paradise,
I hate standing in the rain.

If everything about me is wrong
how can I find the right.
If I'm only darkness,
Is there any light?

Where is happiness, the rope to hold on to?
The hope that won't break when everything is gone.

Thorn bushes and roses

Most thorn bushes are painful to hold, painful to fall in, and  mostly ugly to look at...but think about it, if you could look past the thorns and hurt,pain and blood, you find the most beautiful roses.

Some roses bloom, smell nice, and are even so silky soft...but think about it, if you look past the luscious  large, fragrant roses you find some of the sharpest and most painful thorns.
Then there are the exeptions...thorn bushes inside and out...roses inside and out...

WHICH ONE ARE YOU????????

My friends are roses inside and out...If someone messes with them then they'll have a problem with me. I am a thorn bush, holding back roses, waiting to find the right person who will look past my pain, my hurt, my blood, my appearance, someone who will try atleast to find the roses by  accepting the thorns...if i can't find that someone...then my life is incomplete...then I'm not human....
I'M A THORN BUSH, HOLDING BACK ROSES....ALL OF THAT MAKES ME....ME....If you can't accept that then you're missing out on the true meaning of LOVE.

Are we really that different????

When you lose love, you don't lose hope....

I know that its painful when you lose love, but hope never leaves your side. You can try and chase it away but it'll just slink behind you. Life is meant to have love, you lose some, you  gain some, either way hope will stay by your side.....through thick and thin.......through tall and short......it might not be pretty but hope will always be there.....when you lose love you will have your family and your friends and the people you trust but you will always have hope

When you lose love......you never lose hope
Hope will show you the way.

a heart frozen is a heart broken

I am the definition of sorrow,
I am hard and hollow.
emptiness surrounds my thoughts,
my deed, my life.
wouldn't it just be easier if i pick up the knife?
but something holds me back, it says stop,
things can get better, you just need hope
H=Hearts that are broken are healed
O=Open wounds rubbed with salt are bandaged
P=People crying are comforted and stop
E=Every soul has a mate, is not lonely
has no hate, needs time, will find its place.

keep close to your heart those who care

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”, that's a quote i found and i really want you to think about who are the people that break those walls down. Those are the people you should keep close to your heart. “There’s no need to miss someone from your past- There’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future”. Keep that in mind the next time you like someone who you know you will probably only be a friend to or someone who you may never see again. “There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”. Your heart can be your weakness so don't just let anyone in. choose wisely. Rejection and no attention is the base of a low self esteem and that is the base of depression or suicide.                           

Only those who you want to hold close to your heart should have the key

New beginning

Have you ever looked around and wondered why you couldn't be anyone else in the room? Well if you have, welcome to my life. I'm the person who acts like nothing's wrong . The person that wishes for death. the person who contemplates suicide. I'm the person who looks in the mirror and questions the person standing there looking at me. The person who can't heal the heartbreak. the person who loves easily. the person that constantly regrets mistakes made over 2 years ago. I'm starting this blog to help people who have the same situation but still have hope. It's too late for me, I'm way past depression and low self esteem. You guys are like half dead flowers that need a little care and attention and a lot of water. You need to think towards the future and not your past, it'll ruin you. So if you hear me loud and clear, I want you to try something. Through out a whole week keep a piece of paper and pen, pretty much anything you can make notes on and write down every bad thought that you think about yourself. Also write the good thoughts. It all counts. If the good out does the bad then you can have a life. If it's the other way round, me and my blog are ready to help you find yourself again....g2g but not forever.